I'll be honest, I've been going through severe withdrawal. Blogging is clearly more addictive and potentially more destructive than any drugs Nancy Reagan will warn you about. And you know I've done them all. Please, I urge none of you to start.
After about a week off, I've done some real contemplation, and I'm not sure where this general blog is headed. Don't worry, I'll try to keep updating on the important things like Audrey O'Day, hipsters, and Russia. But perhaps you, the Celeblog Nation, deserve to hear a more real voice. A voice of truth. We're bombarded by morons like Kanye West, who declared himself last week "the voice of this generation." Well fuck him. I'm the voice now.
(Interjection:just received a text from COOLJ: "I am going to sleep bc i started to sing my god is an awessome god, and substituted cat for god" here's the song if you're not familiar, it's really god, er, good.)
So to start off my new voice-of-this-generation agenda, i give you ...
...another person's voice that is much more inspiring: late Carnegie Mellon University professor Randy Pausch's Last Lecture. Watch it when you have a free hour.
Ok, so maybe I should just stick with posting pictures of Victoria Secret butts and viral videos of cats eating spaghetti. It gets frustrating though. Especially today-- I'm sure you already know, there hasn't been anything good on the internet for the past week. So, this is what you get:
This abusable, molestable fembot is all over the news. This is fucked up. Should I be laughing at this?
Hey ladies! All My Children says man-thongs are in. Watch closely at :12
Man-Thong UPDATE:
What I like most is he "promises" that he "does not wear a thong." This is a strange promise to make, especially because promises in this tone are usually lies. I usually make similar, drunk promises like "I promise I won't drive home" or "I promise I'll pull out." What's more strange is that his promise/lie has no real reason behind it. My lies, on the other hand, usually revolve around tricking someone to sleep with me-- a worthy cause you'd all agree. But everyone knows that girls love thongs, so why would he deny wearing one? And why would he go as far as making a televised, verbal contract about it? And now that he has, what are the ramifications if he breaks this bond of trust with Barabara Walters?!
To be honest, I liked him better we he did wear a thong-- whoever he is. But after this masculine-reaffirming promise/lie, one thing we do know about him is that he's a real man's man. That's why he's on day-time soaps, for the poontang obvi.
I know you've seen Twilight at least once by now, if not 10 or 15 times, and are totally caught up in the mania. I, however, am truly bothered by this film because it teaches teenage girls to not have sex, and instead wait for true love. COME ON, I'm struggling as it is!
In the movie, Edward tells Bella to not move when he kisses her; otherwise, he won't be able to resist his vampire, blood-drinking predisposition and will suck the living bejesus out of her (he's a practicing vegetarian vampire by the way). Why don't they just DO IT already!
This "waiting for true love" theme is not what we need to instill into young girls' minds. I think we all know that true love does not exist -- i mean, I'm not even sure if sober sex exists. Do we really want our future daughters waiting around for their chaste, knight in shining armor to stroll up on his (or her) white horse? Do we really want them to be single and unhappy forever?
What we should tell them is to try and find an intelligent, funny, not-utterly-tragic-looking college boy who is willing to buy them dinner every once in awhile in exchange for true love making. (ahem)
When looking up to the best role models in our current society -- the celeb -- it's clear that true love does not exist. But that hasn't stopped Heidi Montag and that guy with the blond beard from The Hills to elope this past weekend.
I hate them both. I hope to never bring their names up again, but this gives me an excuse to post pictures of Heidi in a bikini:
They actually didn't, but I think they should. I already don't like this movie, and I know nothing about it. Kind of like how I felt about buying school lunches in 3rd grade, smoking pot in 6th grade, and ripped jeans in 7th -- all things I thought were really uncool but then instantly changed my mind about once I realized I wouldn't have any friends unless I ate/did/wore it. Oh, and I posted the French version of the trailer because I know all of you have watched the English version 100 times already.
This movie is due out in a week or so, I don't really know, I didn't bother looking it up. My sources (AKA Beth) tell me it's the new Harry Potter only sexier and with vampires. Even with this already flawless plot line, many fans have been expressing genuine concern over the release. According to my most authentic and authoritative resource, Yahoo! Answers reports:
Liz ♥: The Twilight movie!?I'm nervous about it! I really hope it does the book justice. I am also very dissappointed with who they casted for Edward! In the books he is sooooooo beautiful, and the person they casted(he plays cedric diggory in harry potter) is soo not beautiful. I think that Chace Crawford(he plays Nathan in Gossip Girl) would be perfect for the role. He is soo handome, and strong, just like Edward.
this is the perfect edward i mean really he is soo perfect...
LaTuaCantante:
I felt the same way you did at first. But being an Actress I realize that there is nothing we can do about it. I actually thought about boycotting the movie for a while just because of who they casted as Bella and Edward.
twilightlover: WOW! i totally aggree with you about the edward thing! chace is soooooooo hot!!!
Manga.nerd: ZOMG, I agree. I think Kirsten Stewart will play an awesome Bella (As long as she dyes her hair, lawl) but EW, Edward does NOT look like Edward.
