Showing posts with label Shakira. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Shakira. Show all posts
I caught wind of this article, "Date Local: The Case Against Long Distance Relationships," from Slate mag while wasting time on jezebel.com, and I couldn't agree more with its message.

End your long distance relationship-- save the planet-- save yourself -- date me?. No seriously, your LDR (long distance relationship) is destroying the f'ing earth. And he sucks anyways; how many times have you gone there in ratio to the times he's come here? Think about it.

If you didn't know, that f'ing plane you hop on for your monthly lay uses a lot of resources ....

"Consider what happens when these two fly to see each other once a month. Since greenhouse gases emitted from high-altitude airplanes are thought to have several times the impact of ground transport, a carbon offset company would pin their romantic travels with the equivalent of 35 metric tons of CO2 each year. If that responsibility were divided evenly between the two, our sustainability consultant's lifestyle would be about six times worse for the environment than that of the average gas-guzzling American—and up to 10 times worse than that of the average San Franciscan. (Indeed, for her, breaking up would be about 10 times better for the environment than going vegetarian.)"


And it's not just the environment. Your LDR is why you have no friends ...

"For one, it makes people less anti-social. By spending all their free time out of town or staring at a webcam—that is, in their apartments or airline cabins, rather than in parks, bowling alleys, and pubs—long-distance lovers erode civic commitment and social support networks. They have fewer chances to meet new people. And they make their cities more stratified by inflating an über-class bubble of jet-set shut-ins who are—understandably, given their lifestyle—more worried about conditions at O'Hare than things going on outside their front door."

And your sex life sucks ... not to mention higher health care costs, depression, and more vulnerability to economic downturns ...

"What's more, out-of-town daters have less sex than local couples—and long stretches of abstinence between visits could lead to negative health outcomes and thus higher health care costs.
Distance also magnifies the impact of negative feelings like longing and suspicion; according to one study, intercity lovers are more likely to be depressed (PDF) and less likely to share resources or take care of each other when sick. And they spend money on travel that they might otherwise save and invest—leaving them vulnerable to economic shocks and wearing away their future standard of living. Every one of these demons could be banished by simply dating local."


So I think it's pretty clear for all of you in LDRs: get on Skype; give him one last web cam striptease; breakup; call that boy nearby that you have a crush on (me); tell him you want to have sex with him immediately (i'm ready); and do it.

The planet, your psychological state, and your (but mostly my) sex life depends on it. Go now.

Pittsburgh Is, Like, Sooo In Right Now

It couldn't be better for Pittsburghers right now. The Stillers are headed to the Superbowl ... and well, for yinzers nothing else usually matters.... but other things are up to. Like Sam Young's awesomeness & #4 Pitt Bball's ass beating on #8 Syracuse last night. Or this priest who got named a Bishop (i guess that's not very cool). Airlines are creating more flights from Pittsburgh to Tampa on Super Bowl Sunday, that's cool! AND a woman was denied from the same aforementioned airline because she wasn't dressed "sexy enough!" Go America! Oh annnnd I got to meet Barr and Lor (as well as some other cool philly, er, KOP catz) this weekend in the city of brotherly love, that's the coolest. Except for maybe this butt courtesy of Danielle Lloyd:

(more butt via Shape Magazine coming soon)

I have to mention this before i forget: Shakira was sighted this weekend at Obama's pre-inauguration concert thingy. She actually kind of sucks in it. She has too much clothing on and not shaking anything.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sU_kYCAvrP8

Though Pgh is rockin', clearly the most important thing today is that Barack Obama is swearing into presidency at noon eastern time. People love this guy and so do I. Even countries that have hated us forever and are generally soulless (see French) have sometimes said good things about us 'Mericans since the election. Even with everyone trying to make their claim on Barack's success, the Irish I think are winning:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0xFWbarrsc

And back by popular demand, a series of a semi-nude girl (just more Danielle Llloyd, i think she's British, i don't really know who she is):


Search for Shakira



The Search for Shakira begins May 1, 2009

A group of four recent college grads will trek across the entire South American continent to find the sexiest woman alive, Shakira. Along the way to her hometown Barranquilla, Colombia, they will encounter unthinkable hardships. Thieves, Kidnappers, and Murderers will steal, rape, and kill; unbelievably sexy Latinas in each passing country will deceive and seduce with their oiled breasts and buttocks. Though casualties and bastard children are likely, nothing can keep these young, brave heroes from getting what they want. The search for Shakira shall end in victory (or at least a picture in front of this).

COMING SOON TO A NEW BLOG NEAR YOU!


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