(image provided by my girl, Katsman, taken at a fashion show in NYC not too long ago)I am embarrassed that I ever said you were my biggest celebrity crush. How could you do this? Just completely lose yourself like this? What has Ben done to you? Force fed you chocolate chip cookies? Performed a reverse liposuction? How did you manage to look this bad? It actually doesn't even look like you; I didn't believe this photo was of you myself, but after an intense back and forth "wait, no way. yes way" convo with Katsman, I've come to terms with your sad reformation. Where did your cute face go? Did you set out for the little bit overweight Katy Perry look, or was it just unfortunate luck?
You were my biggest crush, but now I'm the one who is crushed. Or would be at least if you sat on me. Katsman futher reports that you were being a total bee-otch that night, all pretentious and shit, ignoring everyone, refusing to talk, even when looking like that. Ugh! You make me sick, Zooey! So sick, you do!
Miranda Kerr, I know you'd never let me down; you're not engaged, and you're still hot.
UPDATE: (OK yeah, I think it's katy perry too, but let's pretend it's not so I have more reason to hate Zooey. Please leave comments about how fugly she is.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y11mMp2CSiI
