Russia Way Ahead of Pregnancy Trend


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_UL9C90WkQ

Turns out that Russia is ahead of the world in one thing and one thing only: sexy pregnancies. More than a year before M.I.A.'s belly poppin' performance, t.A.T.u. did this cute little number for Russian Maxim.

And no, they're not lesbians. That was a publicity stunt (so says Wikipedia).

Check out that sexy belly button ring. I think I'm going to go vomit now.

9 Months Pregant is Now Sexy?

uh ... i cross the line a lot on here, but i think i might draw it at the pregnant thing. Don't get me wrong-- MIA looks great-- I mean, in a Super Mario Brothers toadstool kind of way.Congrats Robert Plant and Allison Krauss for winning a lot of Grammys last night. Radiohead too. When did the Grammys start getting kind of cool? Congrats to dance master Chris Brown who didn't win an award but successfully became the first at the Grammys to beat his girlfriend (Rihanna). Another great example for the inner city, male youth to idolize.And congrats to David Grohl for playing the drums like the Foo Fighting douche bag he is.

Dakota Fanning's Legs,



Here are 10 mins of Dakota Fanning's Legs, while David Letterman tries his hardest not to let any sexual comments slip. Oh, and she's 14 years old.

Wikipedia says that pedophilia "as a medical diagnosis, is defined as a psychological disorder in which an adult experiences a sexual preference for prepubescent children.[1][2][3]

Dakota has definitely hit puberty (I think).


IN OTHER NEWS (THAT'S NOT QUITE AS CREEPY)...

There's this cool feature on Twitter that allows you to search every tweet for any given term. It's good for getting a sense about how much your business, your company's product, or really anything is being hyped.
Right now "Spak Bros" is getting more hype than "Dakota Fanning's Legs." Despite Dakota's bangin' lower limbs, this is arguably justifiable.


Fur vests are in right now. In France.





People will not stop making Christian Bale parodies. It's pretty annoying.

People will not stop making David After Dentist parodies, either. That's also annoying.

Now they're making Bale after the Dentist parodies. Stop it! I'm going mad!

Russia Thwarts Capitalist Green Agenda

I <3 Russian Militsia


Source: http://www.odditycentral.com/pics/how-russia-treats-greenpeace.html
Bikini Girl (aka Katrina Darrell, website here) got kicked off of American Idol the other day, or so the internet tells me. I don't really care that she did, because I don't ever watch the show and I think she kind of sucks (not to mention she looks like an amateur pornstar) but I'm bringing this up because the other bikini girl, Casey Carlson (website here), is still on the show, thank God, because if she gets kicked off too early, Playboy won't give her a contract.

And I really want to see her naked. Because I'm a total pervert.

I still haven't figured out why both bikini girls' websites look exactly the same, or how they managed to make such crappy websites in general. oh well, i'm getting sidetracked, here:

I caught wind of this article, "Date Local: The Case Against Long Distance Relationships," from Slate mag while wasting time on jezebel.com, and I couldn't agree more with its message.

End your long distance relationship-- save the planet-- save yourself -- date me?. No seriously, your LDR (long distance relationship) is destroying the f'ing earth. And he sucks anyways; how many times have you gone there in ratio to the times he's come here? Think about it.

If you didn't know, that f'ing plane you hop on for your monthly lay uses a lot of resources ....

"Consider what happens when these two fly to see each other once a month. Since greenhouse gases emitted from high-altitude airplanes are thought to have several times the impact of ground transport, a carbon offset company would pin their romantic travels with the equivalent of 35 metric tons of CO2 each year. If that responsibility were divided evenly between the two, our sustainability consultant's lifestyle would be about six times worse for the environment than that of the average gas-guzzling American—and up to 10 times worse than that of the average San Franciscan. (Indeed, for her, breaking up would be about 10 times better for the environment than going vegetarian.)"


And it's not just the environment. Your LDR is why you have no friends ...

"For one, it makes people less anti-social. By spending all their free time out of town or staring at a webcam—that is, in their apartments or airline cabins, rather than in parks, bowling alleys, and pubs—long-distance lovers erode civic commitment and social support networks. They have fewer chances to meet new people. And they make their cities more stratified by inflating an über-class bubble of jet-set shut-ins who are—understandably, given their lifestyle—more worried about conditions at O'Hare than things going on outside their front door."

And your sex life sucks ... not to mention higher health care costs, depression, and more vulnerability to economic downturns ...

"What's more, out-of-town daters have less sex than local couples—and long stretches of abstinence between visits could lead to negative health outcomes and thus higher health care costs.
Distance also magnifies the impact of negative feelings like longing and suspicion; according to one study, intercity lovers are more likely to be depressed (PDF) and less likely to share resources or take care of each other when sick. And they spend money on travel that they might otherwise save and invest—leaving them vulnerable to economic shocks and wearing away their future standard of living. Every one of these demons could be banished by simply dating local."


So I think it's pretty clear for all of you in LDRs: get on Skype; give him one last web cam striptease; breakup; call that boy nearby that you have a crush on (me); tell him you want to have sex with him immediately (i'm ready); and do it.

The planet, your psychological state, and your (but mostly my) sex life depends on it. Go now.

Pittsburgh Steelers: America's Team

Because i'm generally ineloquent, I've provided this post-Superbowl reflection done by Gene Wojciechowski:


I don't know if the Pittsburgh Steelers are America's Team. But Sunday night at Heinz Field South, they were Raymond James Stadium's team. They were President Obama's team. Most of all, they were the Vince Lombardi Trophy's team.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to win a Super Bowl? The Steelers have now won a record-breaking six of them, two in the past four years. Fifteen of the NFL's 32 franchises have never won one. Five have never even advanced to the game.

So trying to put an Iron City six-pack into perspective is like trying to comprehend Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel or Rod Blagojevich's hair. Some things are beyond explanation.

But I know this: Steelers wide receiver Hines Ward, who played this game on a knee and a half ("I can't even describe the pain," Ward said), had to squeeze away tears when talking about team owner Dan Rooney. You think Terrell Owens would get teary-eyed about Jerry Jones?

"I saw Mr. Rooney today and I just broke down,'' said Ward, who started to cry again as he remembered the meeting with the 76-year-old owner.

Safety Troy Polamalu, holding his infant son on his knee, said the Steelers call Rooney "Pops." Turns out Pops makes sure all of his players have his cell phone number -- just in case they ever need him for something. Imagine that.

This is why the Steelers are unlike any other professional sports franchise. They win in ways you can respect. They beat the Arizona Cardinals 27-23 in arguably the best Super Bowl game ever, and the Steelers spend the postgame complimenting the other team as much as they compliment their own.

Quarterback Ben Roethlisberger found Cardinals QB Kurt Warner on the field and told him, "It was an honor to play against you." Little-known fact: The first sports autobiography Roethlisberger ever read was Warner's book.

Roethlisberger arrived at the postgame interview room holding the football he used during the final kneel-down of the game. In 2005, when the Steelers won Super Bowl XL, Roethlisberger gave the game ball to teammate Jerome Bettis.

"I'll hold on to this one," Roethlisberger said this time.

Can you blame him? Unlike the 2005 championship, when he played in full upchuck mode (9-of-21 for 123 yards and two interceptions), Roethlisberger distinguished himself in XLIII with a game-winning, last-minute touchdown pass to Super Bowl MVP Santonio Holmes. Perfect throw. Perfect catch. Asked to describe the play, Roethlisberger kept it simple.

"Scramble right. Scramble left. Find somebody open,'' he said. "Somebody got open."

Humility.

If America is looking for a team, this is it. What's not to like?

The Steelers have won those six Super Bowls with three different coaches. Unlike the Cowboys, the Rooneys don't give their ATM password to big-name free agents. Instead, they draft well (Holmes and Roethlisberger were first-rounders). They sign undrafted free agents well (NFL defensive MVP James Harrison). They hire coaches well (Chuck Noll, Bill Cowher, Mike Tomlin in the past 40 years). And they never, ever pretend they invented the game.

"I think what makes America's Team is that anywhere you go in America, that's your home stadium,'' said safety Ryan Clark. "It's called Steelers Nation for a reason. [The Cowboys] may be called 'America's Team' because they have reality shows. They like to be in the headlines, things like that. … But it felt like we were in Pittsburgh tonight.''

I'd be stunned if Tomlin and the Rooneys ever let a "Hard Knocks" film crew into their training camp. They don't need the attention. They don't need to grow their "brand." Winning Super Bowls, not being on HBO, is what grows a franchise.

There were no in-betweens in Sunday evening's game. It was a strange combination of penalties (18 total) and hair-on-fire moments.

Harrison, cut four different times during his seven-year career, delivered the most amazing play in Super Bowl history -- better than David Tyree's ball-on-helmet catch of a year ago. Harrison's 100-yard, get-me-an-oxygen-tank interception return in the waning seconds of the first half proved to be a 14-point swing: as many as seven lost points for the Cardinals (who had first-and-goal at the Steelers' 1 with 18 seconds remaining) and seven found points for Pittsburgh. An exhausted Harrison collapsed in the end zone after the runback.

"I probably shouldn't have chased him so far trying to block, because I couldn't breathe,'' Clark said. "I wanted to lay down next to him, but I figured since I didn't score, nobody was going to give me any sympathy."

There was Warner completing 31 of 43 passes for 377 yards and three touchdowns, including a 64-yarder to the amazing Larry Fitzgerald with 2:37 left to play. That put the Cardinals ahead 23-20. You could almost feel 70,774 people in the stadium inch toward their seat edges.

And then there was Roethlisberger and Holmes on the final Steelers scoring drive. Earlier Sunday morning, Ward had told Holmes that it was games like this in which players made names for themselves. Ward would know; he was the MVP of Super Bowl XL.

Roethlisberger threw eight passes on the drive, four of them to Holmes. Of the 78 yards covered on the drive, Holmes caught 73 yards' worth. But it was his final catch -- that 6-yarder in the corner of the end zone, where his toes somehow stayed put on the turf -- that won him the MVP, and the Steelers their sixth Super Bowl.

"Where is the celebration?'' Clark shouted after the game. "I am done being dumbfounded that we won."

The celebration will be in Pittsburgh. America's Parade Route.

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