Jessica Simpson's Fat, Needs Two Belts

(now.................................................then)
The title says it all.


Oh, and below is some girl in a swimsuit. I guess she's Miss America or something. Why does that competition still exist? No one cares. Only superficial girls with no brains and perverted guys like me watch it. Instead, to save resources and promote a more green porn economy, I think they should just hoard a bunch of willing women into a large hall, take pictures and video of them walking around naked and mumbling nonsense (remember Miss Teen South Carolina?), post them on the internet, and call it a day. The hardest part would be finding Mario Lopez a new job.

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