I'm Back, I Missed You

I'll be honest, I've been going through severe withdrawal. Blogging is clearly more addictive and potentially more destructive than any drugs Nancy Reagan will warn you about. And you know I've done them all. Please, I urge none of you to start.

After about a week off, I've done some real contemplation, and I'm not sure where this general blog is headed. Don't worry, I'll try to keep updating on the important things like Audrey O'Day, hipsters, and Russia. But perhaps you, the Celeblog Nation, deserve to hear a more real voice. A voice of truth. We're bombarded by morons like Kanye West, who declared himself last week "the voice of this generation." Well fuck him. I'm the voice now.

(Interjection:just received a text from COOLJ: "I am going to sleep bc i started to sing my god is an awessome god, and substituted cat for god" here's the song if you're not familiar, it's really god, er, good.)

So to start off my new voice-of-this-generation agenda, i give you ...

...another person's voice that is much more inspiring: late Carnegie Mellon University professor Randy Pausch's Last Lecture. Watch it when you have a free hour.

Ok, so maybe I should just stick with posting pictures of Victoria Secret butts and viral videos of cats eating spaghetti. It gets frustrating though. Especially today-- I'm sure you already know, there hasn't been anything good on the internet for the past week. So, this is what you get:

This abusable, molestable fembot is all over the news. This is fucked up. Should I be laughing at this?


Hey ladies! All My Children says man-thongs are in. Watch closely at :12


Man-Thong UPDATE:

What I like most is he "promises" that he "does not wear a thong." This is a strange promise to make, especially because promises in this tone are usually lies. I usually make similar, drunk promises like "I promise I won't drive home" or "I promise I'll pull out." What's more strange is that his promise/lie has no real reason behind it. My lies, on the other hand, usually revolve around tricking someone to sleep with me-- a worthy cause you'd all agree. But everyone knows that girls love thongs, so why would he deny wearing one? And why would he go as far as making a televised, verbal contract about it? And now that he has, what are the ramifications if he breaks this bond of trust with Barabara Walters?!

To be honest, I liked him better we he did wear a thong-- whoever he is. But after this masculine-reaffirming promise/lie, one thing we do know about him is that he's a real man's man. That's why he's on day-time soaps, for the poontang obvi.

here are more great men of tv: