SCIENTIFIC BREAKTHROUGH: Hipster Descendant Found to Be 1920s Flapper

Black20.com released new, compelling evidence on the ancestral origins of the Hipster (Homo hipsteralis). This human species have been an anomaly among phylogenetic studies for years, but through careful critical analyses of newly discovered anatomical homologies, ontogenies, and fossil records it has been established that the Hipster was directly derived through anagenetic lineage splitting from the common Flapper (Homo flapperalis). This is huge news for Hipster community, who have been discriminated against for years because of their unknown origins and questionable relation to rest of human society. We can only hope that now the world will come to accept Hipsters into our every day lives and in the workplace, just like the way Americans in the mid-20th century began hiring women for jobs other than fellatio.


Black20.com interviewed senior investigator Gavin McInnes:

"It just means fashionable young people. This has been going on since the fucking flappers. Do you know how many people were bitching about the flappers?! --the first wave of hipsters in the 1940s."

"The old people, ya know 50 somethings working at New York Times, trying desperately to figure out what's going on. But instead of saying, "I feel old and uncool," they say ,"These fuckin' shallow losers, they don't know what they're fucking missing(1), fuck them."

"There's tons of blogs just dedicated to hating hipsters, while young people in brightly colored skinny pants are just going out partying... they're not there for the I HATE HIPSTERS online forum debate, ya know."

"My beef is that people pretending that Hipsters are any different than Flappers (2). It's the same old fuckin' gripe."

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(1) Loss of humility in regards to music preference was found to be synapomorphic of Homo Hipsteralis

(2) Implying that hipsteralis and flapperalis are indeed sister clades